Bipolar Medication....What happens when you stop taking your medications
By no means is this a blog telling one to quitting taking their medications...it is quite the opposite.
John Preston, Psy.D and Psychologist and co-author of Living with Someone with Bipolar Disorder and Taking Charge of Bipolar Disorder, stated that "Bipolar disorder (BD) is probably the single main psychiatric disorder where medications is absolutely essential" (Grohol, n.d.). Experts believe that there are many reasons why people stop, or do not start taking their medications; the medications are for life, they do not want to be dependent on medication, they miss the mania, they are better now, they don’t need meds anymore, and the side effects are making them miserable.
The first is that sufferers are scared to be on medications for the rest of their lives. BD is caused "by an imbalance in your brains chemical and electrical systems, and it is not going to go away on its own" (Purse, 2012). It is no more likely to happen, than pigs learning to fly, or Santa Claus and his reindeer landing on your roof. Failing to take you medication can negatively affect your family, job, home, and your life (Purse, 2012).
Medications are a daily reminder that there is something wrong with you. Many people believe that with will power and determination that they can pull themselves out of a depressive episode. Do you honestly think that you can change you chemical composition of your brain with will power and determination, I think not. That is why the right medications are so important. The National Institute of Mental Health conducted a large study and found that 89 percent of bipolar patients who were doing well, were taking a cocktail of medications. I have been in your shoes, popping open the daily reminder pill holder, dumping all the pills in your hand, putting them in your mouth, and swallowing. It is not a pleasant experience, but do not forget the alternatives (Grohol, n.d.).
While going to college in Ann Arbor, I lived in a co-op, which is really a co-ed fraternity house, where we partied more than studied. I was known as the big joker, the Chris Farley of the house, I would say and do anything for a laugh, I had no fear. At this time I wasn’t taking my medication and I started dating this girl named Kelly. She was a party girl, she loved to go out and dance, you know, live it up, and I was all about it. I cannot remember what happened, but I ended up back on my medications. After a few weeks, I realized that I was no longer the big joker, the Chris Farley of the house, I was like everyone else, and house seemed disappointed. Kelly ended up breaking up with me, due to my, not being the fun party person any longer. I felt as though I had lost my mojo, but what had really happened was that I was brought down to reality. I was no longer in my prolonged manic state. I could honestly say at that point in my life, I truly missed my mania.
After moving from Ann Arbor to Chicago, I was feeling great! I felt “normal”, no anxiety, no depression, and no mania. What I soon came to find out was that living in Chicago was much more expensive than living in Ann Arbor, MI. I had to sacrifice something’s so that I could pay rent, heat, electricity, and all the utilities that make life easy. Like I said, I was feeling perfectly fine, I would rather have cable T.V. than pay for my medications, and when I say pay; I mean pay. Within a month or two I started feeling those good olde fashion feelings again, called anxiety, depression, and mania. I decided one day that I wanted to start meeting people, so I began to go to bars and clubs in downtown Chicago. Well apparently, that was more important than my rent, my heat, my electricity, and all those other luxuries. I was evicted from my apartment three months later and luckily move in with my then girlfriend. Moral of that story is that the reason you are feeling better is the medication…not that you are healed, there is no such thing with bipolar disorder.
Once again, I was finally taking the correct cocktail of meds and was feeling what I call "normal", and I had the impression that I was healed; there was no need to continue to take my meds, so I stopped going to my doctors’ appointments, and refilling my medications. To my disappointment, within about 4 to 5 months, I was in a full-blown depressive episode, not being able to get out of bed, and almost having to be hospitalized. Throughout this episode, I ended up losing my job, flipping my family’s lives upside down, falling down the stairs and popping my knee out of joint, needing physical therapy, and causing severe financial hardship for my family and I. Was it worth it, I think not.
One of the worst and most annoying parts of taking medication is tolerating the side effects. “In fact, around 50 to 60 percent of patients stop taking their medications or do not take it as prescribed" (Grohol, n.d.). No matter the side effect, you should never stop taking your medication without the guidance of your doctor. I have a current experience of my own. Throughout this research, post manic episode, I come to find that the new medications my doctor put me on, Risperdal, Klonopin, and Seroquel, all have side effects of weight gain. My initial thought was, F*&K this, I need to get my ass off these medications, I have been struggling with my weight all my life and I am finally getting it under control and this goon puts me on these meds that cause weight gain, is he crazy. After much frustration, anxiety, inter-pleading, I came to realized that all I need to do is to go my next doctor’s appointment, bring up my concerns with him, and see what we can do. "Long-term studies have followed people with bipolar disorder who have stopped taking their medication and have current episodes show progressive damage to parts of their brain"(Grohol, n.d.). What, brain damage...Not only does stopping one's medications cause brain damage, it also typically makes episodes become much more severe. Even finding this information out, I still wanted off the meds so I would not gain weight, but I stayed on!
"I found that clients often don't think they're allowed to disagree with their doctors, and often end up going off their meds rather than having a candid discussion with their doctors" (Grohol, n.d.). Do not be afraid to bring up your concerns with your doctor. You are not going to offend or upset them. You, as their patient need to remember that they are there to help you, if you do not take control of your own mental health and be honest with your doctor; the only person you are going to hurt is yourself.
The best advice anyone has ever given me throughout my BD journey, was to setup a great support team, who can look out for you and notice any BD tendencies, and gently let you know that you should go see your doctor. Seeing a doctor is not a form of weakness, if you have any questions or temptations to get off you meds, or if you still feel BD while still on meds, talk to your doctor. Your doctor works for you; they are your mental health advisor and use them as such. "Accepting that you have bipolar disorder can be difficult. But not following your treatment will create a life filled with "one catastrophe after another." Preston goes on to say, "Be honest with yourself. And make a strong commitment to taking you medications as prescribed and bracing healthy habits" (Grohol, n.d.). A site called Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance, and books by Pema Chodron, has helped me multiple times through mental hardship. The truth of the matter is that you are not alone, we are all here for you, and if you ever have any questions or concerns you have many sites and people that are here to help, But never forget to talk to your doctor first!!!
References
Grohol, J. M. (n.d.). The 4 keys to managing bipolar disorder. Retrieved February 26, 2013, from http://psychcentral.com/lib/the-4-keys-to-managing-bipolar-disorder/00015476
Purse, M. (2012, March 29). 5 bad reasons not to take medications. Retrieved from http://bipolar.about.com/od/complianceissues/a/5badreasons.htm
